Friday, December 23, 2005

Underwear made of feathers . . .

Osama's neice considers New York her home and wants nothing to do with her notorious uncle. She wants the kind of career that wouldn't be available to her amongst her relatives in Saudi Arabia -- 'cause I don't think she would pose wearing underwear made of feathers if she went back there.

Myself, I don't know anybody who has underwear made of feathers.

Do I?

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Think of it as Yuletime collectivism . . .

A transit strike in New York in the middle of the Christmas and year end rush. Of course, there's got to be a reason.

"Transit workers are tired of being underappreciated and disrespected," TWU chief Roger Toussaint said, announcing the strike by his 34,000 union members early on Tuesday.

I don't know about you, but nothing earns my respect more quickly than somebody really annoying the hell out of me by adding a whole bunch of excess inconvenience to me during a stressful time of year when I'm just trying to get to the place where I get to exhale and enjoy my family. Yeah, if I had to walk forty blocks to work in the winter, that would really make me appreciate the guys who made me do it.

Betcha the city could buy bike racks for about 3 million bikes with what the union transit workers get. And have money left over to pay good wages to a much smaller crew of non-unionized transit workers.

Hey, it's just a thought in the spirit of the season.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Time Magazine's Big Issue of 2005 . . . .

What did we have in 2005? Oh, a little War. Terror. Hurricanes. The insertion of democracy into the Islamic "street." Podcasting. A rising acceptance of dhimmicracy. Corporate bankruptcies. Paris burning. Just stuff like that. So, that's probably what good ol' Time Magazine had in mind with the selection the persons of the year award for 2005.



I have no problem with the people Time Magazine chose - Bill Gates, wife, and Bono. Although I have made fun of them in the past, I have no reason to think that they are anything other than what they present themselves to be in public.

It's just that now, I really, really wish I had a subscription to Time Magazine.

So I could cancel it.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Some lawyers never get enough credit . . .

Portland's Cleveland High has hit the New York Times! The school, and Portland schools, are cited as examples of the dastardly and vicious practice of requiring students to overcome daily confrontations by nationally branded soft drink dispensing machines. Oh, the humanity!

Fortunately, some trial lawyers around Massachusetts are going to sue America's soft drink makers for pimping their devil brews to those of tender years and weak resolve in public schools. And these aren't just any lawyers, mind you. These are lawyers experienced in class action suits which, as we know, are always motivated by high minded dedication to public health. I refer, of course, to the anti-tobacco litigation that has resulted in windfalls to governments and attorneys, and has severely punished the tobacco sellers by requiring them to raise the price of cigarettes to be paid by those already addicted. Big business had better learn not to trifle with this heroic band of brothers at the bar.

One can only speculate about how much money such a suit would be worth to the vendors of nationally branded sugar waters of iniquity. It could be millions and billions, one must suppose. The hero lawyers are naturally creatures of rectitude when it comes to mention of such pedestrian matters as mere money. (Money quote coming. Watch for it.) .

Mr. Gardner said he and the other lawyers realize that damages could run into the billions. "We haven't decided about this yet," he said. "We don't want this to come off looking like a greedy-lawyer lawsuit."

Oh, certainly not.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Islamic Professor not a conspirator . . .

Oh, so he's not guilty of the crime of conspiracy. Conspiracy is a hard crime to prove. A jury has decided there's not enough evidence to prove him guilty of conspiracy of aiding the other side, and I can live with that.

My question is, was there any evidence of any kind at all to support the proposition that he's on our side?

That's the question that should determine how he is to be treated in the U.S. from now on. I don't think somebody who isn't on our side should be given a university lectern to stand behind. I know. I know, he has a right to say what he thinks. That isn't the same thing as a right to be given a soapbox to stand on and a crowd to talk to. With our money.

I passed. . .

Ten out of ten. Can you?

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Monday, December 05, 2005

Ramsey Clarke, a modern oracle.

Ramsey Clarke, who somehow found himself stuck with being Saddam's defense attorney, (it's funny how fate can move) questions the charges that there was any torture during Saddam's rule, and asserts the defense that the court trying Saddam does not have the legal authority to do so.

With regard to the legal authority, evidently, Mr. Clarke hasn't heard that the people of Iraq have ratified a new constitution and government.

How does he do it? How is it possible that a person could be consistently wrong over an entire career? Chance would say that he would get something right sometime.

We either have to figure out a way of taking his citizenship from him -- which can't legally happen -- or we have to set him up as a modern oracle who can unnerringly indicate the right path. Just take the path 180 degrees from the line he indicates and you'll be cool.

Actually, now that I think about it, the "illegitimate forum" defense could work out. The court could agree at a televised hearing that the court lacked jurisdiction -- and might just kind of kick Saddam out of the courtroom without delay. I expect at this point that if live television were to point to Saddam walking down the street, sans bodyguards, being smacked by multiple thrown sandals would be the least of his worries.