We call it a feature, not a bug, and you would too if you weren't a 20th century unenlightened throwback . . .

Hey, Mazda people.  Locking and unlocking the doors remotely is nice, but I seldom - okay, never - need to roll down the car windows remotely by pushing a button on the ignition key.  But since you Mazda guys added that unneeded capability, I think at least one of you could have forecast that a paying customer might want the ability to roll the damn windows back up remotely, instead of running outside to get into the car to insert the damn ignition key into the damn steering column to put the damn windows back up, IN THE RAIN!!!, because the damn ignition key window-roll-down-button got pushed by a damned dime while the key was in my damn pocket with pocket change. Damn!  Which wouldn't have been important if you hadn't rigged the thing to roll the windows down in the rain in the first place, around here, where it rains.

And hey, Portland Political Masters.  I suppose that polyethelene grocery bags are things that pelicans might fatally eat, or polar bears might get their toes tangled in while doing whatever polars bears do when they aren't poking around being photographed for popular publications.  So I can suppose that such bags might pose a threat to the environment, as the environment didn't evolve capability of dealing with poly bags.  But I figure that pelicans will have to learn to deal with the challenges presented by the modern world, just as I do.  I mean, like all of my tribe I'm an omnivore but if I eat a plastic bag and it kills me, I pretty much deserve what I get.  Nothing I call food looks at all like a plastic grocery bag.  And those baby-poop brown paper bags beloved by the green weenies for their supposed recyclability begin to recycle themselves disastrously when I try to carry the damn wet things filled with groceries from the car to the front door, through the rain.  Oh, and for the record, poly gets recycled from and to water bottles, sporks, and carpet, kids' toys and even golf shirts.  The portion of brown paper bags that gets recycled requires a lot of energy to get the job done, but mostly paper bags just go into landfills to dissolve into sludge that even the organisms which usually dispose of old natural fibrous material won't touch.  Because brown paper doesn't resist moisture all that well.  And did I mention that it rains a lot around here?  Damn politicians.  Too bad looking, too untalented, too uneducated, too dull, and too arrogant to succeed at a real job, so they go into politics where their shortcomings are considered virtues within their respective parties.

And hey!  What's with toilets that cannot be relied upon to get the job done with only one flush?  C'mon.  Toilets were pretty much invented and perfected in the 1800's.  We have had for years the know-how to make a flush toilet that flushes and we have the know-how to deal with the product of the flush.  It all requires enough water, which we fortunately have in abundance as two-thirds of the surface of the earth is covered with water.  So what did the bright boys and girls hanging around the plenipotentiary government agencies do?  They decided that flush toilets used too much water per flush, so all new and replacement toilets must produce only miniature flushes.  Think of them as exquisite, bonsai toilets.  There must be a special politician/bureaucratic math that shows that two or three flushes to get the job done, uses less water than one sufficient flush.  Okay, I grant that there are locales where water is in short supply, as in the desert Southwest.  But throughout the rest of the counry we have water and here in the Northwest we have a too much.  Water falls out the sky whether needed or not, around here, and we have ponds, lakes, and rivers of the stuff.  The solution to the problem of insufficient water in desert lands to support working flush toilets isn't denying the rest of us toilets that work.  The solution lies in getting the people who want to live in the desert to pay what it costs to  furnish water there do what water can do, that is, flush their toilets.  And if they don't want to pay to import water, let them just poop in the dust of their back yard.  Hell, most of L.A. is so crappy already that dried up poop in the back yard probably wouldn't even be noticed.  For that matter, if poop in the back yard is offensive, let them poop into brown paper grocery bags.  Oh, and I bet there's more than one bidet in Los Angeles, located right next to a low flush toilet.  I say, if there isn't enough water to flush the toilets they should be required to use brown paper bags to cleanse themselves as punishment for the hypocricy of a low-flush toilet paired with a bidet.

And I say, who put such people as these in charge, who peddle windows that go down but not up, or idealogues who decree using brown paper bags in the rain, or who require that everybody acccept less effective technology?