Thursday, March 29, 2012

The pornification of America . . .

It seems to me, more and more, that everything around us is reducible to sex.  And if it isn't actually that warm little secret familiar tingle and rush, then matters can still be communicated sexually, in metaphors. 

For example:

Justice Breyer was dealing with the Obamacare matter during oral argument, and the question of whether the commerce clause has any limitations that would prevent the government from requiring citizens from buying insurance, or a Chevy Volt, or multiple use condoms for that matter.  (Just rinse, roll, and repeat!) 

Judge Breyer said,
. . . and I think if we look back in history we see sometimes Congress can create commerce out of nothing.  That's the national bank which was created out of nothing to create other commerce out of nothing.  I look back into history and I see it seems pretty clear that any substantial affects on interstate commerce, Congress can act.

That's the McCulloch v. Maryland case, which said that Congress could create a national bank.  But that case was a "necessary and proper" case, not a "commerce clause" case.  Lawyers will know that case.  Shoot, my high school history teacher, the football coach, told us about that case.  You'd think an Article III judge would know it's a "necessary and proper" case.  Why not?  ONly one possible explanation.  He spent every possible minute of his school years boinking till his ears sizzled.  Nothing else could explain it.  (Bet you wondered how I'd get back to the main topic, didn't you.)

Oh, and continuing the metaphor, it also means we are so screwed.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

For Six Bucks a Gallon You should Expect to Get a Little Sarcasm with it . . . .

The White House has very recently learned that gasoline is getting too expensive for the voters. 

The reason it is too expensive is that oil companies are selling the stuff and charging voters more than they used to, just because it is costing them more to buy the oil in a politicized international market with various governments attempting to manipulate prices, and more to transport the oil from Canada and South America and the Mid-east, and more to refine the oil into gasoline, the greedy bastids. 

So the White House, mindful on the burden that high gas prices places on ninety-nine percent of us voters , has figured out that if the government will cancel "tax breaks" or raise taxes on the oil companies, that will necessarily deprive them of their greed-soaked profits, the greedy bastids. 

Of course, once deprived of profits, the oil companies will naturally want to charge voters lower prices at the pump . . . and  . . . .   and . . .    Hey!  Wait a minute.

What's the chances the oil companies would raise voters' gasoline prices even more to make up the difference? 

But it's okay.  Think of the satisfaction you'll feel, as you are walking to your job because you can't afford both to feed your car and feed your kids, knowing that the greedy bastid oil companies at least had been punished for their greed.

What?  You don't have a job anymore, since your employer's bankruptcy? 

Well, fortunately you still have your old 401K you can liquidate, right?  They can't take that away from you, can they?  Just pay the government the income taxes on what you withdraw, with the extra 10% penalty tax the government says you owe for using your own money before government planned for you to do, and you should be okay.  I bet you're glad you didn't put your retirement investment into oil company stocks, aren't you? 

Much safer to invest in wind energy companies and solar panels and electric cars,  right?  Nobody would ever accuse those sorts of businesses of being run at a profit, unlike the greedy bastid oil companies, seeing as how green companies all require government tax rebates, and outright loans of taxpayers money just to stay in business.

And how about this?  Maybe the government will be driven to nationalize the gasoline companies, and then us voters would own the greedy bastid oil companies!  Like with General Motors and Chrysler.  If that happens, the White House will be able to see to it that greedy corporations will supply voters with what government determines the voters need.  Instead of what we want.

Provided the wealthy will shut up and pay their fair share.