Thursday, November 18, 2010

News of 'toos . . .

I now have my first tatoo. You can't see it and neither can I. A doctor put it there so he could remember and examine that location later.

So then there's this guy who has 98% of his skin, plus his tongue and the whites of his eyes !!!! tatooed. And not tatooed in pretty forest scenes or animals either. His face is a checkerboard, and the whites of his eyes are blue, and his tongue looks like something like maybe a rotten sea slug that has been washed up on the beach. Everything is inked, and inked, and inked. He did his eyes himself. He's been called the most tatooed guy in Portland.

I'm pretty sure no doctor was involved in his tatoos.

I'm pretty sure that this guy doesn't entertain any dreams of employment of any serious kind. Except maybe being used as a shock display in a human oddity show. Which he can continue to do after he dies, if his hide is properly preserved.

Wonder how much money it costs get 98% of your body tatooed.

Wonder if a need to tatoo everything to the point that you become unemployable -- through some extreme self-mutilation neurosis -- makes a person eligible for some kind of socialized disability payments for the remaining 50 years of life.

Yeah, because that's the kind of thing I can really get into as a taxpayer still contributing to the social security system.

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