Walternative ways to save energy . . .

Congress recently decided to add on some more daylight saving time, all in an effort to save energy. They are on the right track but they didn't go far enough. I blame Bush.

But nevertheless, there is now a precedent for jiggering the clock and calendar for energy savings.

Here's what should be done. Pass a law that provides that we will only have four weeks of winter -- I pretty much get sick of winter after a month of it anyway. (And I tried snowboarding that one time and digging snow out of my pants stopped being a novelty real quick.) Then pass a law that we will only have summer in August. All the rest of the months will be renamed either Spring or Autumn and would consequently be mild and temperate, greatly reducing the need for energy to heat and cool our houses. Also, having fewer months would make it a lot easier to remember what month it is, which is sometimes a challenge.

Plus, it would probably perturb off the French, and we'd have that going for us right there.

As far as I can tell, my plan is flawless all the way round -- for a U.S. Congressman. We could probably get this passed if we'd tack on a little pork appropriations for the folks at home.