Yesterday I started looking at big HDTV. Big TV is better, I said to myself, like many other things we Americans need or want or respect. So, I started thinking about all the stuff I could watch which would be improved when I get my new TV.
Of course I have cable, which means that I pay for extra stuff beyond the mere local broadcasts. Need to be up to date, doncha know. So I've got 50, 60, maybe 70 channels of televised excellence to choose from. But it should be no surprise that if I go to HDTV, I'd have to upgrade my cable service. But still, the shows I watch would be better. So, what do I watch?
When I get up in the morning I watch about 15 minutes of local news on a broadcast channel. Sometimes when I feel like a nap, I turn on the golf channel and snooze happily. It's always the same program and let me just say that there's nothing like an infomercial peddling a phony. 16 cent bracelet that, through a poorly explained set of qualities, is able to do so much good, improving athleticism, complexion, and humor, all while turning back the ravages of time and poor nutrition on one's body. That's pretty much all the TV I watch. Local news and magic bracelets.
But as I've learned, the little bracelets are great. There should be a United Nations program to distribute one of these little bracelets, free of charge, to each and every poor citizen of the third world. And there will be, as soon as the U.N. moochocrats can figure out a way of extracting a couple billion dollars from the program for themselves. The fact that it hasn't happened yet, simply means that it hasn't happened -- yet.
Also, I think I need to cancel cable TV. I can fall asleep just as well drinking a beer, and beer is better for you than TV. And what you get for your investment in cable tv is about what you get for your investment in a magic bracelet. A little bit of subtance and a whole lot of marketing.
And that is why they sell magic bracelets on the cable tv channels.
Marketers know where all the suckers can be found. If we'll fall for cable tv, we'll probably fall for magic bracelets. And steam cleaners. And magic air filters. Pills to make selected portions of your body smaller, or bigger, as desired. And evangelism. And exercise machines.